April Shots

Mother & Daughter

Mother & Daughter

Dad’s got  a great sense of humor:  My daughters get silly mad over stuff like “who gets the bigger cookie.” Recently, Kaya bawled because dad forgot to give her a “whipped cream smiley face” on her waffle. Gia rages when Kaya plays with a long forgotten toy, Ava stomps into her room because dad points out that 1/4 + 2/3 is not 3/12. It’s hard being a fourth grader.

How does dad handle? With humor. Namely, I go  on “humor patrol,” looking for their lost sense of humor in armpits, knees, or under the chin. (notice that deft switch from third to first person?) Unfortunately, this only seems to get them angrier.

Enjoying spring w/Uncle Sanjay, Grandmama & Grandpapa

Enjoying spring w/Uncle Sanjay, Grandmama & Grandpapa

Doctor Time:  Ava had her yearly checkup. The doctor said all’s well and asked, “Any other concerns?” I said, “Yes, actually, Ava’s been grumpy. I think she ‘s lost her sense of humor. Do you have humor shots?” The doctor, indeed, happened to have an especially big needle and would be happy to give Ava a shot of humor.

Aunt Tracy, Ava, Gia, and Cousin Elliott

Aunt Tracy, Ava, Gia, and Cousin Elliott


Ava’s Response: 
 Did Ava laugh? No. She crossed her arms, rolled eyes, and groaned, Kaya and Gia (they came too) started laughing, and then I told the doctor all three daughters could use a sense of humor. Boy, talk about girls with no sense of humor.

April Fools:  On March 31st Kaya lost a front tooth and stuck it under the pillow. Turned out the tooth fairy didn’t need any humor shots, because the next day Kaya turned over the pillow to find…a banana peel. Poor Kaya picked up the peel with quite the sad face. (Dad bought it from Kaya for a dollar)

Toothless Kaya

Toothless Kaya

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No More Periods

2015 Sno-King Champs - Hornets Undefeated at 9-0

2015 Sno-King Champs – Hornets Undefeated at 9-0

Young Entrepreneurs

Young Entrepreneurs

No More Periods:  Lately my wife has acted really possessive, as well as riddled with contractions. I asked her why, and she said she no longer has periods; they have been replaced with apostrophes.

Happy Sixth Birthday Kaya!

Happy Sixth Birthday Kaya!

Birthday Rainbow

Birthday Rainbow

Lemony Snicket:  Recently I was in Portland for LiveWire, also featuring Daniel Handler, author of the Lemony Snicket series. So my wife and I bought Ava the first book, she loves reading the travails and capers of two orphans. This got Ava thinking, and she said, “Dad, don’t be offended, but where would we live if you died?” “Probably with Grandy.” “Well, could we still go to Edmonds Elementary, I don’t want to change schools, and can I still have play dates with Annabelle?” Yeesh. What about her poor dead parents?

Princess Kaya

Princess Kaya

Movie Trailer:  Just out – a sneak preview of I Think You’re Totally Wrong:  A Quarrel, here’s the trailer. Film will premiere May 3rd in Vancouver at the Vancity Theatre.

Don't Mess With These Girls

Don’t Mess With These Girls

 

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Super February

Super Bowl

Super Bowl

February:  Short post, pictures of Super Bowl party and Lake Chelan.

Lake Chelan

Wapato

Lake Chelan

Lake Chelan

Outside a winery

Outside a winery

Ice Skating at Wapato

Ice Skating at Wapato

My Lovely Wife

My Lovely Wife

Super Bowl Party

Super Bowl Party

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Married to a Writer and Reptile Night

Kaya enjoying a fine summer day in January

Kaya basking on a fine summer day in January

Ava the Crocodile Head

Ava the Crocodile Head

Married to Reptile Night?  Is my wife also married to reptile night? No, that’s just a writer’s blip. Grandpa Jim invited the gang over to his club to check out some snakes, lizards, turtles, and other cold-blooded critters, a show put on courtesy of the Reptile Zoo in nearby Monroe.

Married to a writer:  This month saw the launch of I Think You’re Totally Wrong:  A Quarrel, and this sent me to Portland, San Francisco, and Los Angeles, the first time my wife’s stayed home. So what’s it like for her supporting a stay-at-home father/writer?

Gai and the snake

Gia and the snake

Glass half-full:  I like riffing on glass half full/empty analogies. Take the way my wife looks at my writing career. My wife sees writing as a half full glass – namely, half empty, half full of piss. Or she sees a half full glass as ninety percent empty. She’s had to put up with my distractions and absent-mindedness as I focus on writing, sometimes at the expense of family, so I’ll give her that. Writing can be empty.

Sorry Sanjay, but it looks like Tracy's found a more handsome reptile

Move over Sanjay, Tracy’s found a more handsome reptile

The Profits of Writing:  Over the last five plus years my biggest writing victories have been publication in the small press. When I get something accepted, my wife often asks, “How much do they pay?” And I say, “Well, I’ll get a couple contributor copies, maybe a subscription, and a discount on additional copies.” My wife says, “So let’s see, when you go to the supermarket and fill up your basket with food and check out, what does the clerk say when you hand him contributor copies?”

A Page Half Full:  Okay, so I can’t say I have a literary career yet, but we do have a movie premiering this spring (more later).

Preview Video:  From the Los Angeles Review of Books.

Gettin' ready for reptiles

Gettin’ ready for reptiles

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Funny Flora’s First Christmas

Christmas Morn at Grandy's House

Christmas at Grandy’s House

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!! 圣诞快乐! 恭喜发财! 新年快乐!

Christmas Morn

Christmas Morn

Our exchange student, Flora, “walks for fitness.” She is quite the comedienne. She’s enjoying America, along with the challenge of our schools, a definite contrast with China’s. At Meadowdale High Flora is taking two Math classes, History, English, Photography, and P.E. – “Walking for Fitness.” Really. In “Walking for Fitness” Flora and classmates do just that, walk around the neighborhood; on rainy days they walk around the gym. One time I asked her what she did in the class, and she said, “Today we walked to McDonald’s.” Funniest thing she’s said all year, and she wasn’t joking.

Gia's Supersonic Present

Dad Wearing Daughter Gia’s Present

Flora Learns U.S. History:  Flora finds History difficult, as studying law and wars and politics in a second language would be for any foreigner. Her teacher was talking about Jim Crow, Civil War, segregation, and equal rights. Someone said, “Hey, if we’re equal, why do girls and boys have different bathrooms?”

Flora blurted, “It’s science!”

Ava's Noodles

Ava’s Noodles

Math Good!  Flora switched an Art class for a second Math class. Why? She said, “The math is so easy, we did this in 8th Grade!” However, upon arrival she couldn’t ride a bike or swim, and has little art training. True conversation, paraphrased:

Us:  “Flora, don’t you have Art in China?”

Flora: “Yes, we call it Math.”

Us: “What about P.E.?”

Flora: “We have that, too, we call it Math.”

More

More presents

Food break – Cooking with Ava:  Ava’s got noodles. And she’s starting a cookbook. Check out her recipe and follow step #6. Enjoy!

You say potato, Kaya says tomato!  Whether I bake ’em, mash ’em, fry ’em, do au gratin, or roast ’em, Kaya gets all excited and says, “MMM, I love tomatoes.” We correct her, she seems to get it, and next time we bring out the spuds, she’s, “Can I have some tomatoes?”

Here’s to a great 2015!

Preparing for Santa

Preparing for Santa pictures

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Vacationing with Neighbors

Las señoritas bonitas de Bahía de Banderas

Las señoritas bonitas de Bahía de Banderas

Just arrived!

Just arrived!

No kids!

No kids!

In Mexico, sis-in-law Tracy Perkins-Chopra said, “I hope you’re not going to just do an all photo blog.” Sorry, Tracy, but aside from this brief note acknowledging good times, Flora and Ava becoming “Flava,” and the bros watching the Seahawks crush Arizona, there’s not much to say this month but, “I’m lazy, enjoy the photos, and Happy Holidays to all!”

On the way to Boca

On the way to Boca

Chef Ava, Chef Jake, Chef Strange Kid, and Chef Gia

Chef Ava, Chef Jake, Chef Strange Kid, and Chef Gia

 

Boca de Tomatlan

Boca de Tomatlan

Returning from Boca

Returning from Boca

 

Waiting for kid drinks

Waiting for kid drinks

Kaya with "Flava"

Kaya with “Flava”

 

 

 

Seahawks vs. Arizona - Arizona Anu is happy because the game just started. Sorry, Anu, 19-3 final score.

Seahawks vs. Arizona – Arizona Anu is happy because the game just started. Sorry, Anu, 19-3 final score.

The Banana Boat

The Banana Boat

 

 

 

 

 

Sunset. With Kaya, Uncle Anu, and cousin Olivia

Sunset. With Kaya, Uncle Anu, and cousin Alivia

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The Inappropriate Cup

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Zombie Cheerleaders

Zombie Cheerleaders

Ava and Annabelle

Ava and Annabelle

Harvest Festival:  Fall is here, enjoy the Harvest Festival photos and Happy Hauntings!

Will Ava Ever Be a Hawk?  I’m watching football with Ava, and she tells me, “Dad, I don’t ever want to play football.” I ask, “Why?” She says, “It’s too easy to be injured.” So there goes my dream of raising the first female NFL star.   

Picture Day:  On photo day at Edmonds Elementary Kaya lost a tooth, thus she didn’t want to go to school and have her picture. I asked, “Why? She said, “I want to wait until my tooth grows back!”

Kaya at the Fun Run

Kaya at the Fun Run

Ava

Ava

Boogers vs. Vomit:  Because of a shortage of girls, Sno-King combined 3rd and 4th graders. Ava and Gia wanted to play with their friends and thus are on rival teams: Ava’s Tigers vs. Gia’s Green Dragons. The Tigers’ uniforms are orange, and Gia’s, well, you can guess. The week of the big game became a war, the rival grew nastier, and by game time it was the Green Boogers vs. the Orange Vomit. Final score, Vomit – 4, Boogers – 1. The Green Dragons, as third graders playing fourth graders, did very good to stay in the game.

Green Booger-Dragons

Green Booger-Dragons

Kaya "helping" out for Harvest Festival

Kaya “helping” out for Harvest Festival

The Inappropriate Cup:  One morning, as Terry started the day with coffee, Ava saw my cup and blurted, “‘Write like a motherf****r!'” Mom said, “What? What did you just say?” Ava said, “I’m just reading Dad’s cup.” So Mom said, “Dad????!!!!!” I said, “It’s my writer’s cup.” Ava said, “Dad, you have an inappropriate cup!” I bought the cup at AWP (Association of Writers and Writing Programs) conference, an homage to Cheryl Strayed’s “Dear Sugar” column at The Rumpus.  Somehow I thought the girls wouldn’t read the small print.

Popcorn Time

Popcorn Time

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