Too many jokes: My wife, Terry, mentioned to me that my blog has diverted from anecdotes about fatherhood and family and become focused on jokes. Guilty as charged. Therefore, this blog will not make unsuccessful attempts to be funny. It will be a normal boring account of self-indulgent moments spent with my family.
A jokeless account of April: April saw three birthdays, nephew Elliott, niece Gemma, and her mom/sis-in-law Melissa. We had three birthday parties. Family and friends attended. It was fun.
Zoo: I met bro-in-law Danny and we went to the zoo! We saw animals. It was fun.
Peninsula: Ava and Gia have friends at Edmonds Elementary, Mara and Annabelle. Their father, Ben, invited us to their beach house on the peninsula outside Joyce. Guess what? We went. It’s true. We roasted hot dogs and ate s’mores. Kaya had her own “small” chair. It was fun.
Sock story: Okay, eeeeenough! I can’t not be corny. Let me tell you about my taste in socks. Namely, put ‘em on and forget about it. My wife caught me wearing socks that didn’t match. Did I correct the socks? Just look above.
If you wanna score, do a chore! …or so says my sister, Min, to her husband. Evidently Faceook COO Sheryl Sandberg agrees, as she writes in her latest book, Lean In, observing that “men who do more housework have more sex.” (However…a recent study refutes this.) Sandberg is obviously nuts. Time to revisit The Sex-for-Chores Carrot. And to double down, check out The New Republic taunt “self-made” Sandberg’s eight pages of acknowledgements.
Punishment Dad Style: My automobile’s a mess. I blame the girls. My wife blames me. What to do? Make a new rule: The girls don’t enter the house until the car is cleaned. I’ll wait at the front door teasing them with the keys until they clean up their shredded paper, lunch snack leftovers, toys, and clothes. They’ll get used to it…they always do.
Tribute to Wife: She puts up with me, proof that she’s awesome! Terry and I are the true perfect match.