Existential Cow

Free from the moral complexities of dietary choice, these girls are enjoying their cereal and milk. At least for now.

Ava & Gia at a farm near Lake Chelan. Message to the cows: Life could be worse…much worse.

EXISTENTIAL COW: My wife wants cow friendly organic milk and cream. Fine, I can live with this. Still, I’m skeptical about how grateful the cow will be for our concern and attempts at  relieving bovine misery. If you believe in the Buddhist aphorism that ‘All life is suffering’, then it is tough to imagine the cow’s happiness depends on being milked the correct way. The existential cow probably has figured this out. Yes, cows suffer, they are fenced in with nothing to do but ‘moo’. Maybe we should just free the cows. (For the cow curious, check out this article in Time magazine: Save the Planet: Eat More Beef)

These cows have broken the chains of their oppressors. They are free. Think their problems are over? They are now wandering vagrants, unwanted, hungry, and up to no good. Yes, they will no longer be cruelly milked by heartless capitalist farmers, but are they happier?

IRON CHEF WHIDBEY ISLAND: CHEF VINCE vs. CHUCK “Creampuff for Brunch” TESSARO

See the guy on the left? That’s Vince “It’s not French if there’s no ketchup!” Nattress. An ex-member of PETA, Vince awoke after watching this: Penn & Teller’s Bullsh*t. Balancing the wellbeing of the cow with an exquisite love of food, he earned a degree in Culinary Art from Fairhaven University, studied in kitchens in Avignon, France and the Napa Valley. He even waxes eloquence in this essay about POOP (also cow friendly). He is the Goliath. Who’s David? None other than….

Headshot  VS. 

Chuck Tessaro.  Otherwise known as Facebook Chuck. Chuck grew up on corndogs, curly fries, and processed Kraft cheese slices, so how did he develop a palate? And a fine palate at that. He now recognizes and creates scintillating flavor profiles and hangs out (above right) with celebrity chef Tom Douglas. (Chuck, why are you eating a pickle?) Tune in to see how these two former small-town Coupeville residents fare head-to-head on the big stage.

Ava's ready for school!

CLUELESS FATHER TAKES DAUGHTER TO SCHOOL, FORGETS TO MAKE SURE DAUGHTER IS WEARING PANTS: A father went to pre-school with his daughter adorned in shirt and tights sans pants. The concerned pre-school teacher asked, “Where’s your daughter’s pants?” Father had to make a second trip to get pants. What a bad father. (Sorry, Ava, I will check next time.)

LESBIAN DOUBLE STANDARD: This week we had in-laws over for dinner. Inspired by Chuck we made our own pizzas, including a goat cheese, roasted butternut squash, arugula, olive oil pie…yum! yum! Anyway, over dinner conversation my wife was telling Grandma & Grandpa about how we got a free subscription to Showtime, and that we’re recording ‘The L Word‘, a drama about lesbians. My wife observed: “How come we hear about women who are sick of men and start dating other women? But we never hear a man say, ‘I’m sick of women! I think I’ll start dating men!'”

PHOTO of the WEEK: Geiranger, Norway

fiord norway

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10 Comments

Filed under Chef Vince, Chuck, Lesbian Frog, Organic, Penn & Teller

10 responses to “Existential Cow

  1. etchey

    Living in Florida’s cattle country I know about cows. It is politically incorrect here in this cowboy culture of Okeechobee to call a steer or heiffer a “cow”. Cows are for dairy and cattle is for beef. Either way, I don’t consume any cow products for health reasons. Too acidifying to suit my amazing, energising alkaline lifestyle!
    Regards, Susan

  2. Winnie

    其实牛奶和豆浆都很有营养,我有时会给Amber和Rubie喝豆浆。但是我也相信organic的产品会很好些。
    第一张照片非常可爱。

  3. nancy

    hi caleb:
    liked your newsletter: some of us in california are politically correct and insist cows be fed right– grass — not that awful feed filled with corn, etc.– and live in big fields without living on top of each other.

    got a new tower computer and will be linking up my internet soon at home, i am typing at the veteran’s memorial building a beautiful art decco building in Oakland.

    i see you are enjoying fatherhood
    love
    nancy

  4. Pants seem pretty overrated to me. Then again, I suppose you have to start telling the kiddies sometime or another to start wearing pants, otherwise she’s 14, wearing leggings, and every other person watching her walk down the street is rolling their eyes in disgust or euphoric pleasure. So…I guess pants are pretty important.