IRON CHEF WHIDBEY ISLAND: CHEF VINCE vs. CHUCK “Creampuff for Brunch” TESSARO
See the guy on the left? That’s Vince “It’s not French if there’s no ketchup!” Nattress. An ex-member of PETA, Vince awoke after watching this: Penn & Teller’s Bullsh*t. Balancing the wellbeing of the cow with an exquisite love of food, he earned a degree in Culinary Art from Fairhaven University, studied in kitchens in Avignon, France and the Napa Valley. He even waxes eloquence in this essay about POOP (also cow friendly). He is the Goliath. Who’s David? None other than….
Chuck Tessaro. Otherwise known as Facebook Chuck. Chuck grew up on corndogs, curly fries, and processed Kraft cheese slices, so how did he develop a palate? And a fine palate at that. He now recognizes and creates scintillating flavor profiles and hangs out (above right) with celebrity chef Tom Douglas. (Chuck, why are you eating a pickle?) Tune in to see how these two former small-town Coupeville residents fare head-to-head on the big stage.
CLUELESS FATHER TAKES DAUGHTER TO SCHOOL, FORGETS TO MAKE SURE DAUGHTER IS WEARING PANTS: A father went to pre-school with his daughter adorned in shirt and tights sans pants. The concerned pre-school teacher asked, “Where’s your daughter’s pants?” Father had to make a second trip to get pants. What a bad father. (Sorry, Ava, I will check next time.)
LESBIAN DOUBLE STANDARD: This week we had in-laws over for dinner. Inspired by Chuck we made our own pizzas, including a goat cheese, roasted butternut squash, arugula, olive oil pie…yum! yum! Anyway, over dinner conversation my wife was telling Grandma & Grandpa about how we got a free subscription to Showtime, and that we’re recording ‘The L Word‘, a drama about lesbians. My wife observed: “How come we hear about women who are sick of men and start dating other women? But we never hear a man say, ‘I’m sick of women! I think I’ll start dating men!'”
PHOTO of the WEEK: Geiranger, Norway
10 responses to “Existential Cow”
Living in Florida’s cattle country I know about cows. It is politically incorrect here in this cowboy culture of Okeechobee to call a steer or heiffer a “cow”. Cows are for dairy and cattle is for beef. Either way, I don’t consume any cow products for health reasons. Too acidifying to suit my amazing, energising alkaline lifestyle!
liked your newsletter: some of us in california are politically correct and insist cows be fed right– grass — not that awful feed filled with corn, etc.– and live in big fields without living on top of each other.
got a new tower computer and will be linking up my internet soon at home, i am typing at the veteran’s memorial building a beautiful art decco building in Oakland.
i see you are enjoying fatherhood
Thanks (Aunt) Nancy,
I’m just poking fun at the movement. I’m a willing participant in the humane treatment of animals.
Pants seem pretty overrated to me. Then again, I suppose you have to start telling the kiddies sometime or another to start wearing pants, otherwise she’s 14, wearing leggings, and every other person watching her walk down the street is rolling their eyes in disgust or euphoric pleasure. So…I guess pants are pretty important.
Thanks for the insight. Believe me, I’ll second that.
I truly sympathize for fathers raising daughters in this day and age. I’d suggest chaining her up in the basement until she’s old, but someone would likely call the authorities. No fun, I tell you.
Yeah, I joke about moving the family to northern Alaska…but hopefully we’ll raise the girls well enough that by the time they hit the teenage years we’ll have minimal wildness.
It sounds good in theory, I know, but at the very least my wife and I will make the effort.