Hair Science

Master (or Mistress?) Hair Stylist Aunt Tracy and the girls

Tracy performing hair surgery

WHAT DID THE BRAIN SURGEON SAY TO THE ROCKET SCIENTIST? Answer:  You know, it doesn’t take a hair stylist to figure this out.

More Tracy

Ava and Gia recently were the subjects of an artistic study undertaken by Aunt Tracy, my wife’s younger sister. She wants to graduate as a hair stylist from the elite Northwest Hair Academy (this coming from a guy with no hair and no job). To reach the upper echelons of cosmetology she must master the aesthetics of dye, chemistry, color profiles, parrafin wax, and creative foil. Will she earn her PhD (Philosophy of Hair Development)? Can she enter the H.I.T. (Hair Institute of Technology)?

Tracy and the girls at the hallowed halls of hair

NEXT CORNY JOKE: Anyway, the other day I talked to my psychiatrist and became enraged because he told me I have an ‘anal-oral fixation’…So I told him to kiss my ass.

DANCING WITH A Wii: Against sanity my wife bought a Wii. Another time-wasting gadget. We hosted a party, and after the kids went to sleep we adults started dancing to M.C. Hammer’s ‘Can’t Touch This’ and Blondie’s ‘Heart of Glass’. Alright, it wasn’t hell, I’ll concede. But this brought up reminiscences of high school. For us guys (or myself), one brush against breast while slow dancing at a Junior High gala produced three weeks of bliss. Now, in my forties, one night of passion is forgotten the next day. Oh, to be young again! (Anyone remember how, during Hotel California, everyone on the dance floor didn’t know whether to slow or fast dance?)

Ava & Gia kneading pizza dough

LAST CORNY JOKE: I went back to the psychiatrist and told him about how I could not eat anything but spaghetti or fettuccine or ravioli because, as a kid, we always ate Italian food. It gave such fond memories that any other food left me wanting. He told me, ‘You have to stop living in the pasta.’

And with that, here’s the…


Filed under Corny Jokes, Lesbian Frog, Politically Incorrect, Tracy

9 responses to “Hair Science

  1. etchey

    Love your humor gene! Did you ever do stand-up? Well, I gave up my “pasta” for a year now and lost 32 pounds!

  2. Cow jokes? I guess I’ll use that to plug the Video I referred to on Existential Cow:

    • Bubba

      I was actually talking about your Interrupting Cow knock-knock joke…. but that works as well.. Penn & Teller are two of the few libertarian voices in Hollywood..

      Well played Sir.. well played…

  3. Hey there,
    you are officially the first on our brand new blog. more to come. including tiger updates…(we are using just first names for now. it may get ugly!?)
    ciao, Jeff

  4. “NEXT CORNY JOKE: Anyway, the other day I talked to my psychiatrist and became enraged because he told me I have an ‘anal-oral fixation’…So I told him to kiss my ass.”

    That was funny.

  5. Pingback: A Fine Sense of Humor | Notes of a Sexist Stay-at-home Father

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