WHAT DID THE BRAIN SURGEON SAY TO THE ROCKET SCIENTIST? Answer: You know, it doesn’t take a hair stylist to figure this out.Ava and Gia recently were the subjects of an artistic study undertaken by Aunt Tracy, my wife’s younger sister. She wants to graduate as a hair stylist from the elite Northwest Hair Academy (this coming from a guy with no hair and no job). To reach the upper echelons of cosmetology she must master the aesthetics of dye, chemistry, color profiles, parrafin wax, and creative foil. Will she earn her PhD (Philosophy of Hair Development)? Can she enter the H.I.T. (Hair Institute of Technology)?
NEXT CORNY JOKE: Anyway, the other day I talked to my psychiatrist and became enraged because he told me I have an ‘anal-oral fixation’…So I told him to kiss my ass.
DANCING WITH A Wii: Against sanity my wife bought a Wii. Another time-wasting gadget. We hosted a party, and after the kids went to sleep we adults started dancing to M.C. Hammer’s ‘Can’t Touch This’ and Blondie’s ‘Heart of Glass’. Alright, it wasn’t hell, I’ll concede. But this brought up reminiscences of high school. For us guys (or myself), one brush against breast while slow dancing at a Junior High gala produced three weeks of bliss. Now, in my forties, one night of passion is forgotten the next day. Oh, to be young again! (Anyone remember how, during Hotel California, everyone on the dance floor didn’t know whether to slow or fast dance?)
LAST CORNY JOKE: I went back to the psychiatrist and told him about how I could not eat anything but spaghetti or fettuccine or ravioli because, as a kid, we always ate Italian food. It gave such fond memories that any other food left me wanting. He told me, ‘You have to stop living in the pasta.’
And with that, here’s the…