Pillow Wars and the Vajingo Monologues

Is Kaya hungry? Wet diaper? Does she want a nap? No. The reason for her misery comes from an unexpected source.

Far away from those vile pillows, Kaya's mood has changed considerably.

THE UNKNOWN WAR: Why is baby Kaya crying? Does it have anything to do with her proximity to those pillows? Are those pillows toxic? Do they smell? No! They’re elite pillows, and are at the center of one of the lesser known modern conflicts, the Pillow War.

Though my beloved wife is always right, after six plus years of marriage I am still not used to the so-called ‘Decorative Pillow’. What is that? It’s a pillow that is to be looked at and not used. Unbelievable? I thought so. Check this out…You place it at the head of the bed or on the sofa and the fancy little flowers must point to the ceiling and the cutesy little stems must point toward the floor. And at night you throw the pillows on the floor. I’m not joking.

My in-laws often tell me, ‘Would you rather be happy or right?’ Since I’m never right, I’ve decided to shoot for happiness, part of this is making a better than half-ass effort to lose pillow-tude and obey the pillow regulations. Also, I figured this was just a peculiar quirk of my wife, but then I found out she is not the only person in the world who thinks pillows have an intrinsic aesthetic value.  Most women (and even a few men…the wimpy metrosexuals!) ascribe to this sort of CHAOS (Cleanliness, Health, Appearance, Order, and Safety).

My lovely wife, cozy and fast asleep, secure in the fact the pillows are on the floor and far removed from my hairy sweaty body.

Girls! You are in BIG BIG trouble!

SEXISM IN CAKE’S LYRICS:  Is the hit ‘Short Skirt Long Jacket’ sexist? (See the Cake Video)  Or does it just point out a double standard that exists? Namely, that even a high-powered and successful woman has to deal with being a sex symbol. And just what would a feminist think?

KAYA SAVES 34 YEAR-OLD WOMAN:  And now a feel-good story. We received word from Swedish Hospital that the stem cells harvested from Kaya during her birth last spring (at the equinox, no less), will be used in a potentially life-saving procedure.

My wife with 3-month-old Kaya.

Aunt Tracy with Ava & her son Elliot

THE VAJINGO MONOLOGUES: Because I’m around women so often they forget I’m there. And thus I get to be the proverbial ‘fly on the wall’. My wife and sister-in-law freely talk, and one word that makes a common appearance is ‘vajingo’. Example, “I still can’t believe a baby ever came out of my vajingo.” (I stopped calling my penis ‘Bob’  after I graduated from high school…unfortunately, it was ten years after)


PHOTO of the WEEK: Scarlet Sky.


Filed under Feminist Issues, Photo of the Week or Month, Politically Incorrect, Safety), Sexism, Sexist Stay-at-home Father

6 responses to “Pillow Wars and the Vajingo Monologues

  1. P.A.T.C.

    funny story! I guess I am too old , all our pillows are for both practical and purty purposes together, we wallow on the pillows on the couch and in the bed!

  2. I don’t think “Short Skirt Long Jacket” is sexist…the lyrics ask for a girl who’s powerful, “with eyes that burn like a cigarette”–a girl who cuts men down, not who is defined by men, or cut down by men. Anyhow, the fact that high-powered women have to deal with being a sex symbol isn’t sexist, it’s a fact. Is it terrible that people pay more attention to women who are attractive, who have their breasts on display? Of course. But handsome men are also treated better.

    Any discrepancies in the video might also be less Cake’s influence than the music companies influence to project the ‘normal’ representation of women. But when I watched the video, I didn’t exactly find anything offensive. Did I miss something?

  3. This link below is where I first heard of the so-called possibility ‘Short Skirt Long Jacket’ could be considered sexist. I think there is a difference between just noting perceived and real inequalities between sexes, and actually being sexist (namely the delusion that many men have that they are superior…and of course, my own sexism grounded in the certainty that women are superior)

    I posted on the link as well.


  4. You are by no means alone on the pillow case you presented. A work of art that takes up half the bed during the day is at night callously, and unceremoniously, tossed to the floor.

    Truth be told, my wife is unceremonious, I, on the other hand, must admit to being callous—secretly of course.

  5. Scott

    The fact that you’re concerned tells me that you’re married and care to stay married. WE have our little wars, though not of this variety. Studies I’ve read show that men live longer and report being happier if they allow themselves to be civlized by their wives. So, once and for all, let’s agree to not be right and accept that there’s a higher purpose being served? I”ll let you know tomorrow if I still think this way. Scott

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