Kaya is very C-U-U-T: The other day Ava gave me a piece of paper, and my head did a thla-bump. I said, “Ava, who told you to write that word?” And she says, “What?” And I say, “Read this note out loud.” She reads, “Kaya is very cute!” Thing is, the second ‘U’ looked exactly like an ‘N.’ No use explaining to her, but I did have her work on her U’s.
Bad Ass Toenail: Terry thinks my toes and toenails are disgusting. No argument here, but I’d prefer to refer to my foot digits as “strong as iron.” Take a look at the photo on the right and you will see that they’re also tougher than most nailclippers. That’s a clipper blade on the table, not a nail. Click on photo and, depending on your stomach, you will be grossed out or impressed. Or both.
Contradictions: My wife Terry gets on me for my odd palate, she can’t understand my antipathy towards condiments, cruciferous vegetables, and salad dressing. Yet I’m consistent. However, Terry likes her roasted potatos peppered, and pretty much any style of potatos, from hash browns to mashed, with pepper, but if I pepper her fries she won’t eat them. And she likes coffee ice cream and coffee, but she finds the combination vile. She once accidentally took a taste of my coffee w/cream & sugar (the basic ingredients of coffee ice cream), had instant “vomit face,” and spit it out into the sink. So, I think, “Ah ha! Finally, here’s where I’m normal and Terry’s the oddball.
So at the next family gathering I’m stitting with bro-in-law Sanjay, sis-in-law Tracy, and mo-in-law Jan (Jan, I’m going to have to start calling you my “mo-in-law”), and I mention Terry’s eating habits. And guess what, all three of them pepper all their potatoes except french fries, and they all like coffee and coffee ice cream, but they don’t like sugar and cream in their coffee. It’s like a surreal scene from a Luis Buñuel movie. Geeeeez.
Headline of the week: 8-Year Old Gets “Catastrophe Award” for Most Homework Excuses. Headline says it all. A mom thinks “cruel” an award given to her daughter. I think it well deserved and funny. To this mom I say, “Get a life, rise to the superiority of your sex.”