May the Fifth: This May 5th Uncle Sanjay hosted a gathering at his place, partly for his cousin Anu, who lives in Arizona. It turns out Anu’s humor matches Mr. Sanjay. (See: Who’s Funnier? Sanjay or Christopher Hitchens?…or Women?)
Anu: “When I’m home in Arizona everywhere I go people think I’m Mexican. I tell them, ‘No, I’m Indian.’ So they ask, ‘What tribe?'”
Holiday Joke: What does Darth Vader say the day before Cinco de Mayo?
Answer: May the Fourth be with you!
The joke and auxiliary verb/pun does not translate, though: ¿Que diga Darth Vader al noche antes el Cinco de Mayo?
La Respuesta: Cuatro de Mayo está contigo.
Soccer Wars: Ava and Gia started playing soccer, and their “team”, the Blue Dolphins, has no concept of team. They’re like a bunch of crazy little sharks going after the ball. They compete not only against the other team but against one another. Grrrr. It doesn’t matter whether it’s forward or backwards, they just want to kick it somewhere…but it’s very cute!
Sexist Stay-at-home Dad & Writer: I’m not just a sexist stay-at-home father, but now, officially, writing is a hobby and…ahem, a quasi-profession. My lovely wife may disagree, as she knows that my wage is mighty low, but nevertheless, I signed a deal with Knopf. More here: David Shields vs. Caleb Powell: I Think You’re Totally Wrong.