No More Periods: Lately my wife has acted really possessive, as well as riddled with contractions. I asked her why, and she said she no longer has periods; they have been replaced with apostrophes.
Lemony Snicket: Recently I was in Portland for LiveWire, also featuring Daniel Handler, author of the Lemony Snicket series. So my wife and I bought Ava the first book, she loves reading the travails and capers of two orphans. This got Ava thinking, and she said, “Dad, don’t be offended, but where would we live if you died?” “Probably with Grandy.” “Well, could we still go to Edmonds Elementary, I don’t want to change schools, and can I still have play dates with Annabelle?” Yeesh. What about her poor dead parents?