The Underwear Wars

Kaya gets her Hallowe'en face on!

KAY-Annoying gets her Hallowe’en face on!

Gi Annoying and her art

GI-Annoying and her art

Underwear:  When I put on underwear, I look for the tag, make sure it’s facing behind, and take care of business. Why? Because there is no “inside out” in underwear. This philosophy, however, generates domestic controversy.

Outerwear:  So half the time I’m in underwear my wife will shriek, “Caleb, your underwear is inside out.” Underwear is “under” wear. My response? “There’s no such thing as ‘inside out’ underwear. Underwear, by definition, has two correct sides. It’s bi-use.”

AV-Annoying flanked by sisters

AV-Annoying flanked by sisters

The Perpetual:   When was the last time anyone wore underwear in public and was caught for not wearing it correctly? No apologies for letting fate determine how anyone wears junk protectors. We all should be so economical.

At Voodoo Doughnuts, Portland

At Voodoo Doughnuts, Portland

The Annoyed:  Three daughters does not always make for peace on the home front. When the girls have nothing to do, which seems to be always, two minutes do not pass without one of the girls screaming, usually Kaya, along the lines of, “They’re being mean to me.” Why are they being mean? After a little detective work, evidently, it’s because Kaya is “Annoying.” Then Kaya accuses her sisters of annoying her, and this goes on ad infinitum. Chaos multiplies. The result? Annoyed parents.

The Tram, Portland

The Tram, Portland

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