Category Archives: Organic

Politically Correct Capitalism

First Day of School for Ava & Gia!

The Business of Parenting:  What’s the most important aspect of parenting? Money. Double-Duh! Thus the theme of today’s blog, accompanied by the usual photos. Special thx to Trudy Tessaro for her “science show” shots.

New appliances, cabinet doors, etc.

Terry Works Twice as Hard:  Recently my wife, Terry, had to fly to Toronto on business, got stuck in Vancouver due to airline eff-ups, ended up arriving at 3:30 a.m., all the while looking forward to a 7:00 a.m. meeting. Later she called and vented. I listened, quaffed beer, and offered magnanimous sympathy as I “looked” after the kids. She told me, “I work so you can play.” I said, “I watch three kids so you can work.” She said,  “Message to stay-at-home wives who think they have it tough. I have no sympathy for the stay-at-home wife.” What she meant, though, was that she has no sympathy for the stay-at-home husband.

Kitchen After Six Months:  Compare above left by clicking here for a photo from the day the house closed, when Pops, Jan, Layne, & Cindy came by. My sister Sarah replaces sis-in-law Tracy.

Dad’s shirts as pajamas.

PCC Grocers:  There’s a co-op in our neighborhood: PCC Natural Market. It stands for Puget Consumers’ Co-op, though I always thought it meant Politically Correct Capitalism, because you pay Cheech & Chong high prices for an organic carrot, giving credence to myths about organic food, and fueling my conviction that only willfully exploited suckers would pay for feel-good-moral-placebo produce. However, my wife likes PCC, and even my right-wing-thinks-Bush-was-too-liberal father has bought into the co-op way. And his cholestoral and fat have dropped. So I’ve gone there a few times, and little by little I’m becoming a believer. Processed foods are bullsqueak unhealthy, and PCC prices aren’t so sky-high as thought. And, well, I just feel better about myself.

At first I blamed Kaya, but my sister Sarah actually put the TOMS in the dishwasher.

TOMS Shoes:  One day my wife came home, gave me a pair of shoes, and told me, “These are great! And we’re helping needy children.” The company? TOMS Shoes. Their shtick? “With every pair you buy, we’ll give to a child in need.” I tried on the quasi-cardboard slippers, and freaked when I found out she paid forty bucks for the bugigangas. I said, “This shoe is worth a buck and a quarter, no thanks.” But somehow she still believes in TOMS and talked my sister, Sarah, into buying a pair. One day I open the dishwasher to TOMS. Evidently, the salesman said this is the best way to clean them. It ruined them, as well as spreading pinkish water on the rest of the dishes, an apt metaphor for the racket. TOMS overcharges and gets away with “charity for profit” marketing, charging the consumer $20 to donate $2.

Waiting for the Science Show

Sarah starts with steel wool, string, & fire…

Booing Tiger:  How nice that Tiger hasn’t won a major since MistressGate. But the question begs asking:  Why can’t you boo in golf? Or cheer someone’s mistake? A missed free throw or field goal can often be greeted with cheers. I’d pay to see Tiger choke on a putt and have someone in the gallery scream, “Yahoooo!!!!”

…to create this. (Photos thx to Trudy Tessaro)

Two Types of Humor:  I was sitting with Terry and her family, and I expounded on the nuances of humor:  Either you’re a laugh slut and find every moronic attempt at humor funny. Or you never laugh, but you crack people up unintentionally but uncomfortably. Then I said, “But rare is the person who can make people laugh, who knows when to laugh, and has awareness of when they or others are not funny.” After I finished my wife said, “You mean not like right now, when you’re boring everybody.”

With Chuck & Ben

Comedy? Drama?  So Terry’s watching a show one night, and I ask her, “So, is this a drama or comedy?”

She tells me, “It’s a dramedy.”

I tell her, “I’m a frenemy of dramedies.”

Taking photos of the kids

The 22-Ounce 24-Ounce Beer:  I’m sure Andy Rooney or someone has raged about this, but why are so many “24-ounce” beers 22-ounces or even less? Gallons of paint are not quite a full gallon, ice cream quarts and pints are shrinking, cheeseburgers are the size of peppermint patties, but they ain’t lowering the price. If I was a marketer, I’d package my product as the full deal.

the kids

Geico Scam: I’m looking over Puget Sound and see a small propellor plane flying with a Geico banner. Why? How can you make money by being so ubiquitous? On radio, TV, everywhere, US society is saturated with Gecko-drek. Save 15% My Ass! My wife and I compared, and Geico did not save.   Their insurance is expensive or lower quality because 40 cents of every dollar they receive goes to their advertising campaign.  Giving credit where credit is due, though, the Eddie Money Geico Ad is pretty funny. (See below)


Filed under Moral Placebo, Organic, Politically Incorrect

Existential Cow

Free from the moral complexities of dietary choice, these girls are enjoying their cereal and milk. At least for now.

Ava & Gia at a farm near Lake Chelan. Message to the cows: Life could be worse…much worse.

EXISTENTIAL COW: My wife wants cow friendly organic milk and cream. Fine, I can live with this. Still, I’m skeptical about how grateful the cow will be for our concern and attempts at  relieving bovine misery. If you believe in the Buddhist aphorism that ‘All life is suffering’, then it is tough to imagine the cow’s happiness depends on being milked the correct way. The existential cow probably has figured this out. Yes, cows suffer, they are fenced in with nothing to do but ‘moo’. Maybe we should just free the cows. (For the cow curious, check out this article in Time magazine: Save the Planet: Eat More Beef)

These cows have broken the chains of their oppressors. They are free. Think their problems are over? They are now wandering vagrants, unwanted, hungry, and up to no good. Yes, they will no longer be cruelly milked by heartless capitalist farmers, but are they happier?


See the guy on the left? That’s Vince “It’s not French if there’s no ketchup!” Nattress. An ex-member of PETA, Vince awoke after watching this: Penn & Teller’s Bullsh*t. Balancing the wellbeing of the cow with an exquisite love of food, he earned a degree in Culinary Art from Fairhaven University, studied in kitchens in Avignon, France and the Napa Valley. He even waxes eloquence in this essay about POOP (also cow friendly). He is the Goliath. Who’s David? None other than….

Headshot  VS. 

Chuck Tessaro.  Otherwise known as Facebook Chuck. Chuck grew up on corndogs, curly fries, and processed Kraft cheese slices, so how did he develop a palate? And a fine palate at that. He now recognizes and creates scintillating flavor profiles and hangs out (above right) with celebrity chef Tom Douglas. (Chuck, why are you eating a pickle?) Tune in to see how these two former small-town Coupeville residents fare head-to-head on the big stage.

Ava's ready for school!

CLUELESS FATHER TAKES DAUGHTER TO SCHOOL, FORGETS TO MAKE SURE DAUGHTER IS WEARING PANTS: A father went to pre-school with his daughter adorned in shirt and tights sans pants. The concerned pre-school teacher asked, “Where’s your daughter’s pants?” Father had to make a second trip to get pants. What a bad father. (Sorry, Ava, I will check next time.)

LESBIAN DOUBLE STANDARD: This week we had in-laws over for dinner. Inspired by Chuck we made our own pizzas, including a goat cheese, roasted butternut squash, arugula, olive oil pie…yum! yum! Anyway, over dinner conversation my wife was telling Grandma & Grandpa about how we got a free subscription to Showtime, and that we’re recording ‘The L Word‘, a drama about lesbians. My wife observed: “How come we hear about women who are sick of men and start dating other women? But we never hear a man say, ‘I’m sick of women! I think I’ll start dating men!'”

PHOTO of the WEEK: Geiranger, Norway

fiord norway


Filed under Chef Vince, Chuck, Lesbian Frog, Organic, Penn & Teller