Tag Archives: Fathermucker

Can Women Enjoy the “Bingo” Superbowl?

Are These Ladies Miserable?

Three bottles of wine...

Tracy & Terry/Beer vs. Wine: Would a man open a beer, find it unpalatable, dump out half, and open another? Not if he’s a man. A man knows how to commit to a beer. But when it comes to women and wine…whole different tale. They can open a $10+ bottle, sip, crinkle nose, and open another. The other day Tracy came over to dine with Terry and me, and at the end of the night the score was as follows:

Shirley Temples

Man: Three cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Estimated cost – $3

Two women: Three bottles of wine, two unfinished. Estimated cost – $35

Birthday Cake!

Paternity Test Breast Fest: Evidently, the wine got into the ladies, because they started talking about paternity and so forth, and there I was, a husband-on-the-wall, listening in. All kidding aside, my wife assured me that I was, indeed, the father of my daughters, and then she reflected: “But how do I know I’m really the mother?”

Halftime Show!

Game Time!

Most Girls Don’t Dig the Superbowl: Last year the family watched the Superbowl at Sanjay and Tracy’s house. As could be expected, the men watched the game while the women drank wine and chatted in the kitchen. Exactly how it should be. You’d think we had a great time, right?

Women "watching" the Superbowl

Wrong: Not according to my wife. This year, on the night Tracy and Terry wasted wine, Tracy told me that they were going to have a “Bingo” bet on the Superbowl. I’m not sure what this type of wager’s really called, and I don’t care, but the gist is people pick numbers and if the score at the end of the quarter or game ends on the last digits, you win. Basically, you hope for random chance. The idea was this would interest the women. I told them, “No thanks.” Tracy thought I was a traitor. Terry said, “We’re doing this because last year you guys didn’t pay attention to us and just watched the game. We ladies had a miserable time.” (See previous post about “HyTERRbolY“) So this year everyone put money into “Bingo” Superbowl except me. Rather than get the girls interested it just made for annoying interruptions about, “Let’s see, first quarter score is 9-0, let’s see who has a 9 and…blah bore-biddy blah…” As you can see from the photo above, even with the excitement of “Bingo” Superbowl, the girls didn’t give two poops about the game.

The Chuckles: Father and Son

Pops and the Patriots

Why Not? Sanjay, as mentioned in a previous blog (Who’s Funnier? Sanjay or Christopher Hitchens?…or Women?), is funny, and after meeting his father, Chetan Chopra, I discovered “why.” We’re sitting down to watch the Superbowl and I ask Uncle-in-law Chetan, “So, who’s your team?” He says, “New England.” I say, “Why?” He says, “Many wars have been started because of people asking why.” Huh? Sanjay’s humor, obviously, has been finely honed as a result of growing up amidst non-sequitors.

Lil' Deng Xiaoping 小鄧小平

Asperger’s:  Ever since reading Greg Olear’s Fathermucker, a book about a stay-at-home father whose son has Asperger’s, my wife seems to think she has figured out what’s wrong with me. She says, “Check it out, it says Asperger’s syndrome means you have difficulty focusing and paying attention. That’s you!” I said, “Can’t be. I have empathy.” She said, “Well, perhaps you have partial Asperger’s, otherwise known as Pain-in-the-Assperger’s.”

Ava Turns Seven! Benihana (红花)

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Filed under Christopher Hitchens, Fathermucker

Diapers and Double Standards

BOWLING AT EBEY BOWL on WHIDBEY ISLAND (with Gia rolling and Sarah, Stig, Nikolai, Ava, Kaya, and Terry looking on):

Uncle San-J, Gia & Elliot

Uncle San-J & Aunt Tra-C & Ava

THE END of DIAPERS: Like billions of parents, my wife & I have reached a milestone. Third daughter Kaya (Kaya on the Pot) is potty trained. Which means, after six and a half years of diapers, we’re done. After a couple of weeks of cold butt, namely, clothes off and icy shower for every accident, Kaya learned. Cruel? No. Effective? You bet.

Grandy, Ava, San-J & Tra-C

THE MONROE STATE FAIR YANG-YANG: This year my wife talked me into going to the Monroe State Fair. Usually she takes sister Tracy and the kids, giving me a win-win, or in the Daoist tradition, a yin-yin, as I escape the Fair and get a day to myself. But not this year.  So what’s the Monroe State Fair like? Think Disneyland but shorter. That’s a yang-yang. Nevertheless, in the end, the kids loved it, so what can I say?

Cousins, Three Sisters + Nikolai and Baby Gemma

FATHERMUCKER: I contribute to The Nervous Breakdown, a literary site, and TNB editor Greg Olear will release Fathermucker this October from Harper, a novel up my alley about a stay-at-home father. I wrote an article for the Fathermucker blog, in the spirit of gender inequities, “The Double Standard Makes Sense.” The point? You think men and women are equal? Hell no. I use circumcision, penitentiaries, and other examples to hammer down.

 

A Visit From the Tessaro Family: Cora, Cleo, and Eva

The Ferry to Whidbey Island

THE DOUBLE STANDARD: “I am married, the stay-at-home father of three daughters, and a proud sexist. Two sexes deserve equal rights, but not equal treatment. Why? Because men and women are not equal. Duh…” (Read essay here)

 

Uncle Somjait and Cousins Orion, Damien, & Satori taking Ava & Gia to their first day of school

Poker Night! Andy, Uncle Somjait, Me, Uncle Sanjay

MY SISTERS FLY HOME: This summer, as usual, my two younger sisters visited from afar (referenced in my Fathermucker piece) with their families. Always nice to have them, as they make our family seem relatively normal (examples may come in later blogs). My youngest sister Min and husband Somjait and three kids live in Hawaii, and Sarah with husband Stig and son live in Saudi Arabia. Hectic but very nice to spend time together as a family.

FAMILY TIME at GRANDY’s house  w/her offspring Terry, Tracy, & Danny

September 11, 2011, the last 80 degree+ day of summer?

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Filed under Disney, Feminist Issues, Mary Kay Letourneau, Pink is Evil, Sexist Stay-at-home Father